it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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