Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
