i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
