After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
