His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
