and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
