my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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