i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
