"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
organizing the empties. That sober.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
