Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
