I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
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PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
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