I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
