i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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