Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Randomize
