is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
