Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
