i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
