he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have already put on my inside pants.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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