im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
