I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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