That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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