Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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