By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
