Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
