shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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