my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
