My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
