Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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