I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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