my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
