I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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