NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
