Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
