Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize