Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize