And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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