Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize