Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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