I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
They have beer where we have blood.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
