In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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