he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
