Hey man sorry I got all grabby
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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