That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
When did angry sex become our thing?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
