i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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