All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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