So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i can't believe i had my finger in that
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
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is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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