I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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