It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
