She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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