Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize