Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
