i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
