Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
